And what I felt was, “Dammit why don’t you just shut up and AGREE with me on principle once in a while?” Which was a feeling, and I didn’t say it out loud, because I don’t judge myself on my feelings but on what I choose to do about them.

What I did was compromise and get Skippy. Because we both give ground on what we feel less strongly about so that we can gain ground when we feel more strongly.

But as another commenter pointed out – it’s not really about the peanut butter at all.

F&E makes some good creamy stuff, and also some good not super gooey organic stuff.

I think you’re doing great, and that’s from someone who is fairly involved.

HAHAHAH. BTW, my last post is missing – cannot find it. Can you help? I did it at work, so maybe it’s there??? What the heck??
[rq=6786,0,blog][/rq]Okay, I slack.

In reality, you haven’t made those choices in order to win your husband’s approval. So keep feeding your daughter the way you know is best for her, buy Ben his Skippy, and ask him not to eat it in front of her. I go through this with my husband about juice, donuts, and ice cream. Fortunately, he likes Whole Foods natural peanut butter, and so do the kids

But you’re not really talking about peanut butter, are you? To your larger point, I’d say happiness is an overarching state, added to or subtracted from by small events like peanut butter battles. No one ever did teach us how to be grownups, probably because no one has ever really figured out the best way to be a grownup. And I don’t necessarily think that being a “successful” grownup is the key to happiness. The key to happiness – I think – is learning to love what you have while simultaneously striving to improve it .

Dude. I should so write a self help book.
[rq=6713,0,blog][/rq]Wren’s Video Pick of the Week

So, I think you’re doing splendidly. So long as we are all doing our best based upon the experiences of our own individual lives, we’re all doing good. It’s when we fail to grow closer to perfection from our experiences (whether negative or positive) that we’re not doing so good.

Anyways, it’s really late where I live and I need to wake up for work in a few hours.

Many happy thoughts to you!
Di

What he said: “I’d like some Skippy.” (paraphrased, of course, since I wasn’t there)

What you heard: “I don’t value the thoughtful choices you are making to improve the health of your family while being environmentally conscious. Not only that, I don’t like your cooking. Therefore you are a failure.”

What he meant: “I like Skippy on my waffles. Please buy some.”

I’d buy him some Skippy – the reduced fat kind if it makes you happier – and keep buying the other stuff for Sami and you. It’s peanut butter, for cryin’ out loud – he’s not asking you to buy a Hummer.

As for the “happiness” question… have you ever heard of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs? You might be interested in checking it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow's_hierarchy_of_needs.

Hope it helps…

I’ve been coming to terms with this in my own life. I feel strongly that I need to make ethical choices in what I buy and what I eat, but at the same time, there is a comfort in those processed foods that I’m not quite willing to give up. I love organic crunchy ground-in-the-store peanut butter just as much as I love Skippy. I love my macro vegan gluten-free noodles just as much as I love Slim Jims. There is a place for both of them in the wide spectrum of experiential value.

I’ve recently come to a conclusion about my own life guidelines, that I came to when thinking about my childhood friends– so many of my friends were “Kosher in the home” but understood that it was more complicated to follow those rules in day to day life and that they might not be willing to make those sacrifices. I’ve been cruelty-free in the home for a while and I’ve moved on to vegetarian in the home. I don’t buy any meat with the exception of free-range organic broths for use in my home. But when I go out? Well, let’s just say I just split a pastrami and liverwurst sandwich for dinner, if you get my drift.

My parents ran into the same issue you and Ben are running into, except they both fell even further apart on the spectrum– nothing processed passed my lips, ever, and I was raised vegetarian as a child. My dad, on the other hand, ate junk. I actually wish that I had been allowed junk as a kid. Not because I feel like I was deprived, but I think it would have taught me to make more responsible eating choices once I was able to decide for myself– I made very bad food choices through most of high school and much of college, partly because these new foods were available to me and there was no one to stop me from eating them. Now I understand that Skippy and the good peanut butter at my health food store may call themselves the same food, but they are two different foods with two different purposes meant to be enjoyed in two different ways. But it took me a long time to get there.
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