My first day as a hairdresser.
Necessity is the mother of invention… and in my case circumstances beyond my control compelled me to cut my daughter’s hair for the first substantial time.
Picture this: a child at naptime. Half hour later, loud thudding sounds issue from the room of the child, so the parent goes to check on her. Child has painted her entire arms from fingertips to elbows and then some, her bed, sheets, pillows, frame, blankets, a book, the floor and any other miscellaneous objects she can find… with maximum viscosity DIAPER CREAM.
Believe it. This was my reality this afternoon. I don’t think I’ve ever “seen red” before, but I might have had a minor stroke taking in all that there was to behold in Sami’s room today. LIVID. Besides the obvious inconvenience of washing, oh, everything with some kind of abrasive cleansing agent, we had the additional bonus fun of throwing Sami herself in the bath to scrape the petroleum-laden goo off her limbs, body and face.
And I forgot to mention her hair. Completely coating the bottom third of her hair. I shampooed her whole head about 4 times, emptied the tub twice for fresh water, and had limited success (if you can call it that) getting any of the diaper cream to budge from her hair. Combing helped minimally.
So I did what any enterprising, self-respecting mother of a totally infuriating going-on-3-year-old would do. No, not throw her out with the bathwater. I whipped out the hair trimming scissors and went to town.
I’m sure it’s not professional looking, though her hair has just enough natural wave to get away with any minor inconsistencies. I hacked at it somewhat unscientifically, and she was not a steady subject, but she wound up with a haircut shockingly similar to the pro job I wear. (Pictures will follow when I get the rest of the residue off her head.)
Maybe I shall consider a career in children’s haircuts. HA.
As if I don’t have more serious things to be posting about.
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fantastic – Mason did similar in my room with cocoa butter lotion. GOOD TIMES MAN. Diaper cream is a million times worse though. I feel your pain, and I giggle.. because I know it’ll happen to me if I don’t keep it up where he can’t spiderman to it.
this tale bears striking similarity to one involving my then-four-year-old cousin…
it’s naptime at pre-k and the teacher tells taylor to take her mat into the arts and crafts area (??!!) which is out of site of the teacher (??!!). at some point, the teacher comes by to check on her… only to find taylor stripped butt naked and covered in green paint.
we’re laughing with you, not at you, cheryl!
Oh my.
I have heard that applying peanut butter or oil will remove bubble gum from hair, but I dunno what would work on diaper cream. My memories of high school chemistry make me think that possibly something acidic, like lemon juice or vinegar, would work.
I TOTALLY sympathize with wanting to throw her out with the bathwater!
Oh. NO.
I’m adding this to my list of Dread.
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Oh. Wow. OMG.
I would have mentioned something about butter or PB or something too, but not sure with something like diaper cream – ew. And in addition, I would have thrown her out with the bathwater. But then would have gone and gotten her.
WOW… Can’t wait for pictures.
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