Animals love unconditionally, but humans are pretty amazing, too.
I listed her crate on Freecycle in an effort to let go and help another dog who might need crate training and all of her accoutrements. I decided against a shelter donation because I can’t handle the idea of an impersonal donation, nor am I emotionally equiped to pack it all up and move it myself. I decided against giving it to a friend because I know I won’t be able to handle seeing it in a friend’s house, knowing it used to be hers. I’m going to be sore in the heart for a long time.
I’ve been finding that when I walk into the kitchen and see Alex’s crate in the corner, practically untouched, I retreat into a momentary mental space where she is curled up sleeping, just like always. The effort of smacking myself upside the head and reminding myself of what I went through Friday is frankly excruciating at times, and I think that falling into denial is worse than the pain of the gaping hole that will be left in our kitchen nook when her crate is gone.
I shared my whole sad story in my Freecycle posting, and within twelve hours got an absolutely astounding number of responses. About half of them were from kind people wishing me peace and sharing their story. It’s been very comforting not only to know that I’m not alone (intellectually, I know I’m not the only pet owner to have lost a dear friend, but it’s easy to retreat into the isolation of my own skull and believe whatever I want at times) but that people are so generous that they will respond to such a post expecting no favor in return – truly out of the kindness of their hearts. This unsolicited kindness is part of what is sustaining me right now, and I’ve never felt so much faith in the general goodness of humanity before.
The other half of the responses were just as kind, but were also current pet owners looking for items to make their pets more comfortable. Again bolstering my general theory of the goodness of humanity, people, many without means to spare, have taken on animals just because they care, despite the tightness of budget of late. I’m confident that no matter where Alex’s legacy ends up, some lucky dog will wind up well-trained and completely loved by its owner, and Alex will have been a part of that, however small and tangential a part.
If you don’t know about Freecycle, it is a great group that exists in many areas, usually run by mailing list, and tends to be attended by generally good human beings. I like it because it keeps perfectly good stuff in use and saves resources by encouraging people to continue using said perfectly good stuff. Check it out if you get rid of things from time to time, or if you ever are looking for a random used something. It’s always worth a shot.
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