Cheryl Katz

Unspoken wishes granted in totally strange ways.

Today already twice Christians have come to my door offering to share the Bible with me. Either today is a special day for me, testing my ability to talk about my beliefs, or this is just what I miss every day by not being at home.

I was sitting on my sofa reading Entering Jewish Prayer. How ironic is this? Two women were at my door and asked me if I ever read the Bible. I told them that yes, I do, and they asked me if sometimes I feel confused by it.

Hm. Not really. I’m more confused by life right now.

I told them I’m converting to Judaism, and they were not upset, or pushy, or anything less than respectful for my choices, though they did ask me about where I’d come from and why I chose as I have chosen. I told them that in my experience I’ve seen too many people do things for, because of or with the “help” of Jesus, that I wouldn’t imagine he would actually condone. I also think that this world is far from the perfect place a post-Messianic world would be, and I personally don’t buy into the re-writing of texts that came with the New Testament.

We discussed those things for a while, and to their credit my visitors were handy with scripture. I like people who will try to make concrete arguments supported by text. They didn’t pull anything from the prophets or psalms that I found convincing for their argument, and the one passage from Revelation made me chuckle on the inside because in my head, Revelation plays out like a graphic comic book; very hard to take seriously for me. I’m sorry to anyone this offends.

I think people of most religions are seeking the same thing – a better world, to seek comfort and know that something good will come of their lives. I can’t speak so well for the methods each person chooses to achieve those ends, but if any religious belief causes someone to become a better person I certainly won’t judge them harshly even if I disagree. I don’t think I have room in my heart to be unkind right now.

Truthfully I was glad for their visit because it took my mind off the fact that I was home alone. I couldn’t really focus on reading anyway. They seemed to accept my reasons and my beliefs, not that I needed them to, but it was better than if we’d had fisticuffs over it. I’m sure they wanted me to find Jesus, and I’m not so excited about that premise, but they were satisfied that I had thought it through and were OK agreeing to disagree. It had the tone of, this is what we believe and we just want the chance to share it with you. Even if I don’t agree, I thanked them for sharing respectfully. That was nice.

I guess there’s a first time for everything. A first time to open the door and talk to strangers (wearing hats, even!) and not worry that the dog would scare them away. A first time to actively engage with people attempting to proselytize me. A test even, to be friendly without wanting to lie about it just for the sake of convenience. A first time to disagree without being driven by the fear that I’ll be hated because of what I believe. Who’d ever have thought I’d take comfort in that?

A second visitor rang my bell a little later, I told him his friends had already been by. I told him we’re Jewish, but thanked him for their openness and respectfulness.

Strange times for me, these are.

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