Cheryl Katz

I sometimes feel bitter thinking about all the occasions on which I’ve brought friends from separate worlds together, only to have them go off and forget me.

Even now, I still sometimes feel that twang. But I’ve come to realize that ultimately it’s not the worst thing. In most cases, I’ve brought people together who might otherwise not know each other, but who really belong being friends. And when I am wearing my completely truthful hat, then I must admit that the friends who drift away are not the ones who are necessarily the best choices as friends for me. (I don’t mean people who are busy, which includes me. I mean people who can’t find motivation to reach out every once in a while.)

People who don’t love spending time around kids, people who disapprove and/or disagree with my parenting/lifestyle/fashion/etc. choices, people who don’t share compatible interests with me, all fall into this category. (I mean, if I knit and you scrapbook, we can be together and do those things. However if I like to ride a bike and you like to row a boat, not so much.)

Relationships can be made to work over distances and differences, but only the ones worth keeping tend to be maintained in reality. I really treasure the friends who have stuck with me and made it work.

This may seem like Social Behaviour 101 or something, but to me this is all new territory that I’ve only recently come to terms with. I’m not very good at letting go.

I’m starting to be able to look at it as a positive thing, and feel joy for the people who moved on without me for the rich new friendships they’ve found. No one is going to assign “credit” for this, and I’m certainly not going to try to claim it, but it is rewarding to have had some active, if circumstantial, part in others’ happiness.

In fact, I’m actually pretty good at matching people up. That’s something to be proud of; good judges of character are tough to find.

Re-reading this post, I realize I’m kind of rambling. Oh well. Just had some mental runoff waiting to happen.

I really want to know, because I don’t know anything about how it works or IF it works… Can anyone tell me what the Weight Watchers program is like and what their results were?  If you don’t want to leave comments here, please email me at cheryl (at) cherylkatz (dot) org.

Thanks.

Two years ago today, I was puking my brains out with “stomach flu.” I had no idea I was pregnant.

Listening to some coverage of the Democratic primary this morning while driving to and from Sami’s school, I heard some things that got my mind racing.

NPR ran a story where an 21-year-old Obama supporter and a 57-year-old Clinton supporter talked about why they chose their respective candidates. For the Obama supporter, there were a lot of words like “hope,” “charisma,” “energy.” For the Clinton supporter, it was less about sound-byte-able phrases and more about capability, experience and learning from past mistakes.

And I guess I’m getting nearer, putting a finer point on why it feels uncomfortable to me to support Obama, even though on a visceral level I find him more appealing.

I really want him to detail a plan for how he will execute his message of hope while in office. And I don’t feel that he can do it, because he’s never been in an executive role, he doesn’t understand the process challenges a president faces every day.

I think that every time campaign season comes around, people get windswept by the promises and glimmer of the candidates, and forget that no candidate, elected, can ever deliver the promises they made on the campaign trail. Most of them don’t have the slightest idea what obstacles beleaguer a president’s ideas.

Hillary Clinton does, however. Her first attempt at a comprehensive health care plan was a fiasco. She found out what it was like to be run over by the Republican Opposition bus.

I feel that her message isn’t as uplifting, on the surface, as Obama’s is. She doesn’t have the brilliant glamour, and she isn’t a thunderous, echoing orator. But she does talk practically about practical things, which is I suppose why she’s not as attractive a candidate. She actually knows the nuts and bolts of the job, and her practical view is honestly not as inspiring.

I honestly cannot vote on personality any more. Lucky, because I have voted in the primary already. No more voting for a while. I don’t find Hillary Clinton warm and fuzzy, but I don’t find her cold either. I think she is a woman applying for a job, and I feel that she is capable of doing the job.

People talk about “politics as usual” as a bad thing. But we’ve been conducting “politics as usual” since the Constitution was signed; a president alone isn’t going to be able to change that. It’ll take a sea change in the Congress as well, and while it could happen, I don’t see it as very likely.

As I’ve said before, I’d vote for Obama in November in an absence of Hillary. But I’d like him to start talking about what he will DO as president, and stop focusing on what the voters can do for him (aka Believe.) Because faith alone will not bring his ideas through Congress and to reality. He’s got to know how to work the system.

trying to stay focused on work

I cleared up my speeding ticket from January 2 this morning, and just in the nick of time. My traffic school certificate, which I procured by taking Traffic School online, taking a printed test in the presence of a notary yesterday at the Auto Club, and faxing it over yesterday to be processed, arrived as expected before 9 AM this morning. It took about 30 seconds of administrative work at the County Superior Court, and about $2oo out of our checking account, but I like to have a clean license. Which I still do. So yay.

It’s raining, and I squished a snail on my way out to Costco to pick up things for our house and lunch at the office. Poor snail. Also: yuck.

I am halfway between needing and wanting to lose 40 lbs before October. (We’ll get into the whys of that deadline later. It deserves its own post.) To this end, I will be giving up all future Greasy Breakfast^TMs like the one I had this morning and doing my level best to eat more fruits and veggies (maximizing calorie-negative foods) and reduce on pasta and bread. Next week, when my schedule frees up again, I am making the gym my new religion. I’m on the right track – I ate basically a pile of lettuce for lunch today (it did ok, because of the nasty breakfast) and I even had an orange as a snack!

Nothing like a deadline to get me moving.

Umm, what else? Well, I suppose that’s enough for now.

Today Sami only nursed 3 times – first thing in the morning, first thing upon getting home, and right before bed.  (And she went down without a fight, I might add!)

She requested nursies in the usual manner (wiggling herself into a sideways position on my lap and then making the “milk” sign while staring purposefully at my shirt) sometime shortly before table dinner, and I explained to her that we weren’t going to do milk again until bedtime.

Somehow, this explanation flew.

I don’t know when I’ll be ready to give up nursing completely.  I do know that I don’t like how little solid food she eats when I’m around because she wants to nurse ALL THE TIME and wants to eat NEVER.  No solids = lots of sleep interruptions = grumpy me and Ben = short fuses all around.

So I’m not claiming any victory yet.  But she did eat a metric ton of cheesy pasta for dinner, and I’m just saying that this might be a good sign for upping the solids and reducing the nursing to a regular schedule.

I asked Sami if momma could have a kiss. Usually she looks at me and smiles mischievously, then shakes her head vigorously NO.

Yesterday, she opened her mouth wide and leaned in to my face, as if to swallow my whole mouth. (I think she doesn’t quite grasp the whole “MWAH” kissing action – she has firmly latched on to the -AH part.)

The best part is that she gave me more on request! My cheeks, my nose, my chin. I have to mind the teeth (she got a molar, and has more on the way, so she is prone to biting things that find themselves in her mouth) but I just love the baby kisses SO MUCH.

It’s getting me through the worst time in recorded history – a Tuesday that is functionally a Monday, and therefore has all the worst aspects of both. Thinking abotu my Sami is like fuzzy puppy sunshine happiness when I’m bogged down at work.

Sami signed, “more” “please” at dinner, and then when I gave her more rice, she signed, “thank you.” I was so proud.

I saw a big pickup truck with a window decal on the rear window of its cab, reading: “Sucking Gas An Hauling Ass” [sic] which irritated me for both its grammatical and general pro-waste transgressions. Who is proud of needless consumption? -1

I saw a window decal of Grumpy the Dwarf that said “Back off, I’m Grumpy!” I <3 it. +1

There were more, but this is my net for the day. Clearly I need to work on my memory skills. At least of these two items, the balance is a wash.